atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
