Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
