Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
