im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
