How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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