It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
