the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
