I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
