i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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