We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
