i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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