She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
