Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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