So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
