we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
