I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize