Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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