I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
