Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
