How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
