$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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