Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
