just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
