They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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