I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
