i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
