He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
