and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize