Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
