I skipped work to stalk him.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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