there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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