what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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