i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
