he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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