so that wasnt chicken after all
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
