I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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