No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
