Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
