no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize