i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
