I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
