before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i love accidental penises.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
