Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
did i walk over a car last night?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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