I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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