He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize