I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Non-Jews are for practice
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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