R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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