My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
