ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
