I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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