Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
