why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
