the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
