is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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