She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
