i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize