I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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