woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
