You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
