I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
