I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
